Big Bri Bri’s Blog

I’ve known for a while I should have started this already. ​

I’ve found every and any excuse possible to keep me from gaining any forward momentum. Hell, I’m dragging my feet as I write right now. ​

I tell myself I need to ​figure out exactly how to do it right; how to present myself in a way that is palatable to the widest audience while maintaining some sense of authenticity. 

So I start and stop. I start the flow of words and then stop when I worry too much whether what I say matters. If anyone cares. And I end up right back where I started. 

All I’m doing is avoiding myself; my calling; my purpose and my passion. 

I end up in dead end jobs. I shrink from the world. I retreat into depression because I’m not doing what I want. 

I guess maybe I’m afraid I’ll discover just how good I could be and how much time I’ve lost running from myself. 

I don’t have the energy to keep running any longer. It’s time to fully embrace who I am. 

I don’t know what this blog is yet, and that’s the problem.

I am stuck in analysis paralysis – which is just a mechanism to keep me from writing.

Really, it’s just an excuse to keep me stuck so I don’t have to face my fears and follow my path.

I know what I want to write, but I’ve been afraid that I will alienate people I know who want to read my writing.

I want this blog to be raw and unfiltered; an unadulterated look into my life in all aspects – long covid, kink, depression, the store, daily life.

I want to reach a wide audience because I feel like I have something important to share and interesting to read. But I’m afraid I’ll be too too for some of you.

I’m a bit extreme in some of my tastes and I don’t want people to think less of me.

However, if I don’t get started at some point, I’ll just drive myself mad. So, here goes nothing.

Howdy and welcome all to the wonderfully whacky world of my mind. 

Let me get this out of the way upfront: there will be typos. There will be misspellings. I have let my fear of these things be an excuse to hold me back from writing. I’d rather get it posted than wither away in my drafts folder. 

For those of you who don’t know me – my name is Brian. I live in Kansas City, KS. And I am obsessed with Worlds of Fun and roller coasters. 

Also pens. I adopted the phrase “pen fetishist” from my mother. It’s gotta be a bold, fat line that makes me want to write with it. 

If it sparkles, even better! 

I have maintained a journal since high school. Those who know me have been pestering me “to just write” for years now. So here I am. 

I have no set agenda or preconceived notions of where this will go but brace yourself for entries ranging from depression to long covid; from kink to coasters. 

Basically, it’ll be my journal in online form. 

It will get graphic at points. It will get naughty. Trigger warnings apply. 

Without further ado – I guess I should start writing.