The Part of Me That Stops Everything

There’s a part of me that shuts everything down the moment things start to move.

When I try to move forward on something, I am a master at distracting myself. I’ll find anything to do to avoid doing the thing I intended to do. 

It’s like a curtain in my mind closes over the task so I can’t see it. Everything else feels more important. 

It’s usually triggered when it comes to writing or finances. 

I’ll be about to take action in some sort of way; whether it be to write or job hunt. 

The task at hand disappears from mind and then…ooh, shiny! 

It keeps me stuck in place, repeating the same patterns. Deepening the rut I’m in. 

I think it’s protecting me from doing the work and actually becoming the person I say I want to be. Because that part is convinced I’m not good enough. 

I’m running out of time financially and it’s lit a fire under my ass to keep moving forward.